skeery things   5 comments

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i’ve posted before about the gods scaring me sometimes. i’ve also posted about how i wish there were places to discuss offbeat things without sarcasm and know-it-alliness taking over.

there are a few places. and …duh, suz!……i’ve kind of got one right here, don’t i? not many people happen by my quiet little corner of the ‘net, any more than they do down the hidden lane where i live. but if i end up just talking to myself, well, shit, there’s value in that too. as a devotee of Hermes, i know the magic in the act of writing. (typing, in this case. writing works better. but that’s a different post.)

my land is so sacred, and dear to me, and peopled with non-people. it is protected, to the extent that a not-totally-competent mage can do, and it is holy ground because of the many shrines, the ground soaked with offerings, the numinous places, the relationships that have developed, and the beings that walk here. i love it here, i love being here, and tending the land, and worshipping the gods here, and getting to know the various spirits and wights and fae and nymphoi.

sometimes Things wander in. sometimes they’re curious, sometimes helpful. i have no doubt that i don’t even perceive most of ’em, perception not being my strong suit.

but sometimes they scare me. and it really, really bugs me when i’m out in my enchanted garden, and i get scared. i’m not so much talking about the Holy Terror that i sometimes feel (usually at a shrine, in the act of worship, and frankly it’s usually the kthonic crowd who can be pretty scary anyway.) THAT’S awesome, in a scary sort of way.

i mean just plain in terror of your life, no logical explanation, scared.

i was headed out to the Hermes shrine last night, clutching my ubiquitous cup of raw milk, after moonset but under starlight, through the dark orchard, when i found myself frozen. i just could not bring myself to take another step forward. a buck did that huffing noise over by the treeline, which is startling, but i live with lots of deer and they don’t scare me. it huffed and chuffed, moving up and down the front pasture, invisible but sounding the alarm. i stood in a circle of dying fireflies, glowing weakly in the grass, trying to summon up my personal power and MOVE. but the darkness by the shrine just looked so dark, and menacing, and fraught with Things i didn’t want to see.

i do not like being scared in my own sacred space. so i whipped myself up into moving forward. but as soon as i got my feet moving toward the shrine, a siren started to wail in the nearby town, and the high-tensile wire of the pasture came twangily alive as deer (presumably) began to flee over and through it.

i was done. i performed my prayers and libation where i stood, then came back in the house, but it frosted my nuggets. i feel so utterly safe here, it’s unsettling and unbalancing when i don’t. i’ve encountered gods, spirits, even a jotun on my land before, and dealt with it.

i dunno. maybe just a case of the heebie-jeebies. but i’m curious as to how many folks out there have encountered something similar, and how they handle it.

khairete

suz

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Posted September 10, 2013 by suzmuse in Uncategorized

5 responses to “skeery things

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  1. Heebie jeebies happen but sometimes it’s worth looking again. The deer probably picked up on the sounds of a problem in town before you did, hence the alarm. You were already tuned in to the energies around you and might have gotten caught up in their deery panicking.This is not meant to downplay or in any way lessen your story. There might well have been Something nasty out there. Generally I wait until nasties attack and then shred them with Dragon claws. I have quite a bit of help with that, so it seems to be working.

  2. I’ve started living back at the old family house (my Father died this past March). I know that the house keeps the spirits of a number of my ancestors. It just feels good to be there. However, just recently, more active spirits have also decided to take up residence. Things have gone missing and have not re-appeared. Both my husband and myself have heard their whispers. It has been a bit creepy, so I definitely understand. The nymphoi are not all nice, as the Irish like to show off.

  3. lady imbrium, i think you’re probably right, that i was picking up on deer nervousness and projected it. it’s hard to believe there was something truly heinous there, but one doesn’t want to be complacent either. i trust, for the most part, that i AM safe here. but shit happens everywhere, and part of being tuned in is understanding that too, isn’t it? i don’t want to wander off so far into woo woo land that i lose logic and perspective. but Other is seductive.
    and sometimes skeery.
    and yes, julia, NOT always nice! but i seem to have, for the most part, a good Working relationship with the residents here.
    thank you for your thoughtful perspectives, dears.
    🙂 khairete
    suz

  4. Oh yes, this is why I write some of the things I do on my blog, because I have no where else to share it. Even if no one responds, I’ve put it out there and taken it out of my head. That being said, our naturekin are neither always nice and good any more than man ever is…always trust your gut no matter how silly it makes you feel.

  5. so true, melia. i need to keep that in mind- that if i’m scared, there might well be a reason for it. don’t need to freak out, but shouldn’t dismiss it either.
    balance is the key. mabon thoughts!
    🙂 khairete
    suz

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