I am a frigging fundamentalist bee-yotch   6 comments

Yes I am. And I’m a frigging angry one. So frigging angry that I’m going to use capitals, just like a growed-up. And I’m going to blog it here on my sad little deserted wordpress blog instead of the quick FB updates I’ve lazed myself into.
Because I am one pissed-off fundy bitch.
I am a fundamentalist pro-choicer. I believe that any woman who owns a uterus capable of conceiving is the only who can or should decide what goes into that uterus and what comes out of it. No caveats. No extenuating circumstances. No age differentials. No fucking nothing nohow nowhy. There are no cases where I think anyone but the woman should decide. Without legislators or vaginal ultrasounds or enforced heartbeat headphones or Juno marathons. There’s no middle ground for me on this. No friggin’ half-assed compromise. I’m a reach-across-the-aisle sorta gal in almost all circumstances. But not this one.
I’m a fundy pro-choicer and I’m sick up to my asshole of the debate being framed around incest and rape. Does that mean I’m all insouciant about incest and rape? No, shithead. It means I’m tired of all the pregnancies that occur outside of rape and incest getting shoved to the margins. Of course women who are raped or victims of incest should be allowed a choice. You would have to be a sea cucumber to NOT get that. Women who are impregnated against their will or volition are already out of my debate.
I’m a fundamentalist because I want all the other broads and chicks and jillybais who don’t want to be pregnant to choose what to do with their organs as well. Under all circumstances. I want the sluts, the crack whores, the stupidheads, the clueless teens in love with the wrong guys, the mothers who desperately want more babies but not right now, the girls who can’t say no, the girls who try to say no, the girls who say no but don’t mean it, the barflies, the minimum wage slaves who just don’t know how they’d manage to pay their rent if they had to take 3 weeks off to have a baby and give it up for adoption, the war victims, the welfare recipients who are trying desperately to get off it, the welfare recipients who are gaming the system….all of them. They all get to choose.
I’m such a friggin’ fundie that I actually have much more in common with my fundy counterparts on the other side of the aisle. I can understand how someone who is truly, deeply convicted that life begins at conception can only believe that abortion is murder and fight it with every fiber of their being. I think these people are very wrong and I will never, ever agree with them. But since I’m a fundie bitch, that POV makes far more sense to me than ‘no abortion except in cases of rape and incest.’ If it’s life, it’s life. A blastula conceived by rape is no more guilty than one conceived in love. I get you, conservative fundies. I’ll fight you to my last breath. But I understand you.
For fundies there is no middle ground.
That being said, I’m glad there are compromisers on this issue, because my brand of fundie is so friggin’ fundie that we could lose out to the other brand of fundie, and that would be insane and horrifying. We need compromise on this only because the alternatives are unthinkable. But compromise on this issue is not possible for this friggin’ fundie bitch. Don’t look for it here. All of my usual arguments for being a moderate, for middle ground, for consensus, for trying to work together, none of that applies here. It’s either a woman’s body and her decision what the fuck to do with it, or it’s not. And if it’s not, it’s Hell. You know what really frosts my friggin’ fundie ‘nads? That the same people, in large part, who want to force women to bear against their wills are the same ones who want to criminalize the actions of pregnant women, women who smoke or drink or do crack or eat fast food or refuse to exercise. So not only should women be forced to gestate unwillingly, their choices of what ELSE to do with their bodies while they’re hosting should also be controlled. If indeed fetuses are equally or more important than their carriers, then all men have to do to control all women utterly is keep them pregnant. They can’t not have the babies, and they can’t ‘misbehave’ while they’re pregnant. They are chattel, pure and simple.
The only pre-birth dividing line this friggin’ fundie bitch would consider is the delightful Hebrew conception of ‘quickening’, that first flutter of feeling in the abdomen. Apart from its archaic charm, it has the inestimable value, in my fundie opinion, of being measurable solely by the woman.
But of course, that would mean trusting women. We can’t have that, can we?
Wanna hear how friggin’ fundie I am? I have more in common with Paul Ryan, creator of bills that would strip all women of all rights to choose, than I do with Mitt Crazy-Eyes, who doesn’t give a flying fark about women’s uteri except in their capacity to garner votes for him. I think Ryan believes sincerely, and wrong-headedly, in his anti-choice rhetoric. I can deal with that. I can fight that. I go splodey-brain ballistic missile batshit grapeape on people who coldly and calculatedly use something so intimate, so immediate, so personal, as a woman’s soft vulnerable inner ORGANS as political bargaining chips.
(That’s not the reason I don’t hate Paul Ryan. At least not all of it. More to piss off my last 3 friends on that topic when I’m done with my current rant.)
I want every friggin’ baby born in this world to be born because a woman has made a decision to bear it. I want every baby nurtured and loved and wanted by someone from the first breath. I want the women who choose to carry pregnancies to term to do so in the full knowledge of what they’re doing, and I want our society and our government to support and help them if and as much as they need it. I do not want women who ‘use abortion as birth control’ (all 3 of them) to have babies. I do not want women using abortion as birth control because abortion is hard on women’s bodies. Almost as hard as pregnancy. If a crack whore or lazy slut or welfare queen who is only popping out babies to keep getting that fat check is thinking about going through with a pregnancy just because she’s too lazy to get an abortion, I’ll hold my nose and support her going through with it. But I wish she wouldn’t. I don’t want women like that reproducing, because in addition to being a fundy bitch, I’m an elitist one. I’d kinda like to force these gals to view videos of fresh episiotomies or delivery-induced hemorrhoids.
But that would be hypocritical.


Posted August 30, 2012 by suzmuse in Uncategorized

6 responses to “I am a frigging fundamentalist bee-yotch

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  1. I appreciate anyone who understands, even if they don’t agree. I honestly do think that understanding helps the process.

  2. agreed, john.

  3. “If it’s life, it’s life. A blastula conceived by rape is no more guilty than one conceived in love. I get you, conservative fundies. I’ll fight you to my last breath. But I understand you.”

    OMG finally – I have been saying this to Sannion a lot lately, as I’ve seen the shit hit the fan on the news here and there. I am with you – totally pro-choice – but I get that if you really, truly believed that life began at the first moment of conception, then you would think abortion is murder. What I cannot stand are the “pro-life” folks who will make an exception for incest/rape. What, it’s suddenly morally okay to murder (by their thinking) an innocent life (by their thinking) because someone else did something reprehensible? It doesn’t jive. Which means their so-called “morals” are a bunch of BS paraded around to get votes, NOT deeply held convictions. And that makes this whole thing even worse. Because I could stomach a fight with people with very different beliefs, but not with people who just want to get certain groups on their side to win elections. That’s just disgusting. Their policies would cause so much pain and suffering for so many women, and it’s not even coming from a true place of morals and religion.

  4. heart YOUUUU, dver!

  5. My god. How did I not know that this blog was here? I love you. Love this rant. Love your passion. Love your mind. Am a fangirl mess right now.

  6. fangirling right back that you’re here now!!!!

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